Got Meth?

The FHH Police Department is a small dedicated law enforcement agency which has too many officers in the winter and not enough in the summer.

The six officers are plenty in the quiet, almost abandoned town for half the year. Retirees and and a few younger residents all know each other or pretty much keep to themselves in the winter. There is the occassional speeding ticket or grandmother running into a deer. Maybe somebody at the Batter's Cage will get carried away at Larrioke and try to drive home with one too many under his belt. There was the murder one year but. but it took them 15 years to find it out.

Summer is a different matter all together. There are hundreds of families in for a weekend, a week or two or all summer to be out on Freers Gerry Lake. The marina is jam-packed with people and boats. The Ragburn County deputies and Fish Police (Game Wardens) are out on the lake. FHH Police are busy with drunks fighting, hot-rodding behind the condos, shoplifting and gangs of kids at the Blue Lagoon Putt-Putt Place. Reserve police officers and retired sheriff's deputies are kept hopping, especially between Forth of July and Memorial Day weekend.

One of the hang-outs for the local cops, since there are no donut shops in FHH, is Trixie's. The official name is Badman and Sons. It is a Citgo service station, convenience store, deli, coffee bar and town meeting hall. Everyone goes in there sooner or later and everyone knows everyone. Trixie McFarber and her husband Don are the current owners, cashiers, cooks and everything elses. (bad pluralization intended)

Badman and Sons remains the name of the place even though Josh Badman sold the place after his sons all went off to college and or work and their own lives somewhere else other than FHH.

Josh partnered up with a seedy character named Herman Dollar and opened up a real estate agency. They are doing quiet well, although because of Dollars questionable business dealings, other real estate agencies are cutting heavily into their, formally, near monopoly in FHH.

One old-school cop, Peter O'Toole (not the actor) was in Trixie's two or three times a day. "Tool" as he was effectionally known, would sit around, drink the coffee (offered at a police discount - free) and talk with locals and tourists. Tool was a character and a bit of a throw-back. He could say just about anything, if he whispered it, as if a secret, and smiled. Women would at first be shocked but Trixie would tell everyone he was "just kidding" and laugh it off. Political correctness and EEO had been heard-of, just not quiet arrived in FHH.

One rainy winter morning a Tennessee cop who had a house in FHH and planned to retire there, was having breakfast with his mom. Tool recognized them and without bothering to ask, sat down in the booth with them. "I saw that bright yellow 280-Z screaming down Dan Creek Highway yesterday," said Tool grinning, all his teeth showing, except the missing upper-right canine. Eve Gonzalas just smiled from behind her Diet Mountain Dew and said, "What did the license plate say?"

"SPEEDY! My squad car can't catch up to you!"

Her son, Himmie, asked what was going on in town. Tool told him the Rugburn Sheriff's Office was on their case. Apparently there was a lot of Methenamine coming somewhere out of FHH. They didn't know who or exactly where, just that their snitches kept hearing about a lab in FHH.

Himmie suddenly straightened up on his bench, "Oh, my God!"

Tool looked at him, surprised by the sudden attention. "What, what?"

"You know that run-down old trailer court on the other side of FHH?"

"Yeh, so. What about it?"

"That's where it is, the Meth lab."

"What do you mean? I mean how do you know?"

"You know the beat-up trailer in the very back? There's trash all around it and an old car up on cinder blocks."

"I think so... I, "

"The windows are covered on the inside with aluminum foil, it smells like fingernail polish remover or something."

"Yeah, I think I know th...."

"There are lots of square plastic jugs, kind-of like 5 gallon milk bottles."

"I've seen those..."

"That's it! The guy that lives there, when you do see him, which isn't often, he looks like a street bum and his teeth are bad."

"You could say that about a lot of people in Rugburn County."

"Worse than that.... That's it. That's where it is! You need to go get them!"

"Me, what?"

"Yeah, that would be pretty dangerous, them cooking that stuff. The least little spark will set the whole place off. It would be the biggest blast Rugburn County has seen since the Pilgram's Pride Chicken Feed silo explosion of 1972!"

"What should I do then? The Chief would't like that."

"Go to the county boys, the Narcotics guys and tell them exactly what I told you."

"What good will that do?"

"Trust me, that's enough. They will use that information to go get a warrant and raid the place."

"Are you sure? I don't know..."

"You'll be a hero. Go, Semba, go!"


As Tool ran out the door Mrs. Gonzales looked at her son, "What was that all about? You've been with me all this week. When did you have time to go over to the trailer park."

"May, 1973, when me and the guys took our high school graduation trip out here."

"What about that trailer? Did you make that up?"

"Not exactly, there's always a trailer that looks like that. Meth producers are always Meth users. Meth users get trashy, let everything go and the Meth messes up their teeth. They sleep alot during the day. They put foil on the windows to keep sunlight and snooping eyes out."

"What are the milk jugs?"

"That's the last peice. The chemical they use to cook the mix come in those pretty distintive jugs. It has a pretty intense smell that's hard to hide. They'll look at all that and be able to get a warrant."

The headline in the next week's FHH Harbinger and Highlights was "Meth Lab Busted in FHH! Local Cop's Heads-Up Caught Cookers." Tool was a hero and has pretty good job-security, unless he overloads his mouth.




Ken and Barbi Smith arrested outside their home in the FHH Trailer Park.

Where to Find a Good Pancake Breakfast.

The FHH Lions Club has been fixing a pancake breakfast every Saturday and Wednesday from late Spring to early Fall from 7-10 am since 1981. The Lions have a hall in the center of town across from the Mall and next to the Library. The Lions are pretty typical of the majority of the permanent residents of FHH. They are, well, old.

FHH being almost exclusively a retirement community eight months out of the year, most are over 60 and on a fixed income. Most of them have plenty of time on their hands: during the day, not necessarily in their life.

In 1997, 2000, 2001 and 2005 Fairhaven Harbor was named by the Arkansas Chamber of Commerce and the Governor's Office as the Volunteer City of the Year. It was not politics but a real flush of volunteers. The FHH Volunteer Fire Department (yet to save a burning house) by its very name is all volunteer. There are an abundance of volunteer EMTs, nursing assistances, food pantry workers, people who pick up cans, clean up the parks, plant flowers, work at the FHH Camber of Commerce.

At fireworks on the lake, there are people to direct traffic, help standed boaters and, cook hot dogs and hamburgers. There is usually a rock band playing songs on the Forth of July that they played originally in the 60's. They just take off their hearing aids now.

Yes sir, FHH has an abundance of volunteers. In fact, there are so many, that there is usually a long waiting list to get into most volunteer programs in the city. Fortunatey or un-, they don't have to wait very long to get to the top of those lists. Good thing too.

The real estate market is pretty much the same way. Herman Dollar, of B&D Real Estate, makes a dark living off that fact. If you see a house you like, even if it is not currently for sale, just wait a little while and it will come up on the market. Maybe talk to the owner's kid. Get a jump.

The Lion's Club main thrust has been providing glasses, eye care, eye doctors and eye surgery for children whose familiies can not afford to provide desperately needed medical attention for vision issues. This obviously is close to their hearts as I have yet to meet a Lion that wasn't wearing glasses. (See next photo) I'm surprised they don't also provide for kid's hearing and memory problems, ......as warm-hearted and caring as they are.

To many of the summer vacationers that tromp around FFH, the best part of the trip is getting up first thing Saturday morning and going to get pancakes at the Lion's Club. For only $3.75 a piece you get coffee, OJ or milk, two sausage patties and all the pancakes you can eat! The service is not quite up to the speed of "slow," but the meal and the experience are more than worth the wait.

I just wish they'd go ahead and raise the price to four bucks a head. It would be worth the extra two bits to not go through the torture of watching the drama involved of a 86 year gentleman fingering through the little black coin tray in a metal cash box (to deter theft). It should replace water-boarding.

He's looking for a quarter in the nickel section while his 71 year old Spring Bride keeps slapping him on the shoulder telling him to, "Hurry up, Lenny!" He almost ignorns her (years of practice?), "A nickel used'ta buy you a couple of gallons of Eythol back when I... off my back sweety!... was a teenager. Can't buy crap with it nowdays."

You grab a styrofoam plate, plastic fork and a couple of napkins then line up at the grill behind a large, long open serving window.

There is always one guy in charge of cooking the hotcakes. It may be an honorary title passed on from Head Pancake Maker to the next or just an interesting coinsidence: every Pancake Maker is named Joe. On top of that, (Maybe I'm just an outsider) everyone greets him with a hardy, "What'd know, Joe!" It's not stated as a question but it is always answered, "Pancakes my man (or young lady)! How many will you have!" Maybe its an inside joke.

The Lions have got it down pat. The batter is in a two gallon plastic pitcher with a large wide spout. It is either faded golden rod or avacado, which coincidently matches the appliances back in the kitchen. The banter is between guys in bright yellow vests.

There are always plenty of help back there, in fact it is packed. Their Lions vests are covered in patches from the orginal Lion Club cities they're from. But the kitchen crew all get to wear long white highly starched cotton aprons and tall white, plump muffen-looking chef's hats. They are a happy, if somewhat slow-motion, group of characters.

The kids are always excited by the cooking of the cakes part. Joe always cooks up Micky Mouse pancakes for them. One middle-sized pour for the head. Two smaller pours for the ears. After the flip, chocolate chips for the eyes and nose. If an adult asked for a Micky Mouse pancake, someone in the kitchen will sing out, "Silly rabbit!" without even turning their head. Joe explains that its just for kids.

The meeting hall/dining room is full of large round fold-up tables surrounded by metal fold-up chairs. Each table has a stack of folded paper napkins, a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth maple syrup and a dozen fresh fold-up State of Arkansas highway maps. Everyone knows that the syrup is not really Mrs. Butterworth's. The bottles are refilled from a five gallon can. The Mrs. Butterworth bottles just look better than a plain-jane syrup bottle.

If your lucky, seriously, Mr. Bobby (somebody knows his last name) will provide breakfast entertainment from the stage. The stage/speaker platform is a 10x20 foot raised section of floor only a foot high, at the far end of the room. Mr. Bobby has a Casio PX2000 sensi-touch, 240 voice keyboard with a 166 pre-set rhythm section. There is not a song from the Lawrence Welk Show that Mr. Bobby can not play, or hasn't in the last 18 years at this gig.

He always, as his last play of the morning performance, cranks out a rousing rendition of "Man of La Mancha." More than any other musician heard in this century, Mr. Bobby is masterful in the use of the pause. The sudden and unexpected drop of melody with just the sound of the electronic Caribbean rhythm keeps the heads bobbing and an ear turned for the eventual return of his magic fingers to the music. Like Don Quixote, his determination and faith in himself, his self assuredness, will eventually bring closure to the song.

With a full belly and a lift of spirits, the summer tourists in their fraded shorts, bad print tropical shirts and straw hats, kids, tubes and dogs all head out to the lake in mass. The best memories will be of a friendly place and pretty good pancakes. Best of all though, is a mess that didn't need to be cleaned up except to dump it all in a 40 gallon gray plastic garbage can. Pancakes at the Loin's Club is always the best way to start a fun-plenteous summer day in FHH.

WFHH 87.9 Fairhaven Harbor Radio

In 1960 Kemmons Wilson, the founder of Holiday Inns, in anticipation of the Corp of Engineers Lake being constructed near the town of Hebrew Springs, Arkansas, bought several thousand acres of what would eventually become lakefront property and the Town of Fairhaven Harbor.

Wilson subdivided the property into lots and began selling them as vacation and retirement homesites. Ownership included membership in the Community Services Club, which came to own a world class golf course, a marina, a club where alcohol could be served (Rugburn and 7 counties around it were all "dry.") and various recreational facilities. It also had a radio station.

In November, 1963 WFHH, 87.9 on the FM radio dial, went on the air with a mix of contemporary and classical music, local news and announcements. There had been a big push the get the facilities completed and the station up and running in time for the visit of President John F. Kennedy, to mark the official dedication of the Freers Gerry Lake and dam. Unfortunately for all, especially the president, he was unable to attend.

Instead of coverage of the lake dedication, the first big news story and coverage was of Kennedy's assassination in Dallas, the manhunt for his murderer, the capture of Oswald and then his own murder at the hand of Jack Ruby. The nation and Rugburn County were stunned.

Everyone was glued to their radio for days. The only television station in the area was a Public Television station out of Hillview that rebroadcast off a tower on a long bluff 20 miles North, near Wolf, Arkansas. Even it came in grainy with the sound fading in and out. The Little Rock station did not come in at all. The area did get an over-powered station from Neuavo Laredo from late evening until morning on clear nights but, it was all in Spanish.

WFHH then covered the State Funeral and trailed off over the weeks with announcements from President Lyndon B. Johnson about the recovery of the nation. From this auspicious beginning began a large listening audience that probably would not started out near as large, if not for the horrendous events that gripped the nation and this fledgling little community.

Wilson's Fairhaven Harbor, Inc. sold plots, rather lots, like pancakes. Old timers insist that this was the spark that led the local Lion's Club to the idea for a fund raiser. Every Saturday and Wednesday from 7-10 am from late Spring to early Fall since 1981 they've had a Pancake Breakfast for busy families of tourists headed out on the lake.

As the fortunes of Mr, Wilson, FHH CS Inc., and the local community grew so did WFHH. Advertising revenue came in, at first from Leverne's Hardware Store, the heart of downtown Leverne, then later booming FHH Reality and Rugburn Construction.

In 1973 WFHH was able to hire popular DJ Fred "Happy" Harold from the much larger radio station in Hillview, WEIV. The station solgan was "We may be backwards but, we have a view!"

Happy was just that . He drew in a lot more listeners to the little rural station. His most poplar pronouncement on the air was that before he got to the beautiful community of Fairhaven Harbor, he was Fred "Not So Happy" Harold. Now, even the call letters of the station bore his initials, WFHH - Woooee Fred "Hap-py" Harold!

Very few people knew he'd used a similar schick after his move from Paducah, Kentucky years before. He left Paducah for "other employment opportunities" in the middle of a live broadcast. This was 15 minutes after putting on the record "Knights in White Satin" to have a private conversation with the station manager's young wife. Happy had not realized he'd left the broadcast mircophone switch in the "on" position.

Everyone in the Harbor area listened to WFHH all through the 1970s. It offered more and more daring music including Frank Sinatra, Jazz, Roy Oberson and orchestral renditions of the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. It could be heard at Millie's Homestyle Resturant and Crafts Shop, the Highway 333 Cafe (Half the Devil as Good!) and the 19th Hole at the Hill Ranch Country Club.

In 1981, Fred "Happy" Harold left the station after a group of angry women attacked him at the WFHH live broadcast from the Hills Folk Center outside of Hillview. The sheriff said someone told a women what Happy was referring to when he said he loved Arkansas women because they all had Sommer Teeth. They had laughed giddily at that often repeated remark, on air, for years.

"Those women had to have averaged 350 each. It was like a thundering herd. I couldn'a stopped them with a 12 gage pump," said Rock County Sheriff Cowie Lawmann.

The first problem the station's choice of broadcast frequency occurred in 1983. No one knew why at first but, suddenly in 10 to 15 second bursts, Led Zepplin or Black Oak Arkansas' "Jim Dandy to the Rescue" would blare out of locals' radios tuned to WFHH. The shock was more surreal because the lovely flow of the London Philharmonic Orchestra would quietly continue on with Bach as though nothing had happened. Locals also noticed this most oftened happened when a car or truck with a Shelby County (Memphis) Tennesse licence tag was driving by.

Because a genuine UFO sighting had been made just that month over Sugarbread Mountain by a group of Kansas City Police Officers there on a fishing weekend, several locals and the minister of the Angletine Best Bible Baptist Church claimed that aliens where responsible. "They plan to saturate our youth with Rock and Roll music to take over their minds and their souls," said the Right Reverend Paul Sandsman. "When they finally get this right, it will be too late for all of us!" WFHH refused the Right Reverend's demand to shut down the station and lost the Angletine BBB Church Sunday morning broadcast for invalids and shut-ins. (It sounds better in French)

By 1988, bits of cell phone conversations were being heard over WFHH. Doobie Brothers and Styx where commonly breaking into the "Morning Easy Listening Show" and coverage of the monthly FHH Butterfly and Biped Insect Show. The mystery was solved that Summer when a Laverne HS student did something remarkable. He actually read the instructions on the box of the Phillips remote cassette player, with car kit. He bought it at the local Walmart in Hillery. The first line said,"Set your FM Radio dial to 87.9.

For six years WFHH petitioned the FCC to allow them to broadcast on a different frequency. It was finally approved in 1995, but by then no one used that type of remote cassette player. WFHH dropped its request and stayed on 87.9.

One more victim fell to the frequency snafu in 1999. Herman Dollar, a married local real estate agent, was engaged in a lively, if not drivistically safe, cellphone conversation with his surreptitious girlfiend. She was at home taking a relaxing bath while her huband, a lineman for the Gene Petty Power and Light Company, was at work.

Getting too close to home to finish his conversation and straighten himself, Herman pulled over. He parked his Badman and Dollar Real Estate Company Chevy Tahoe behind a kit-made large log cabin office building with a tall aluminum tower next to it .

Regrettably for everyone involved, Herman was behind the broadcast station of WFHH, 87.9 on your FM dial. When his girlfriend asked him where he was, he told her. When he asked her where she was, she told him. When she asked what he was doing, he told her. When he asked what she was doing, she told him.

What they didn't know, until 10 minutes later, when Herman heard his girlfriend screaming, water splashing and a male voice yelling, was that the entire broadcast area of WFHH, 87.9, could very clearly hear their entire conversation. It was just starting to dawn on Herman, in shock and panic. Then oddly, the driver's side window of Tahoe crashed in on him and 18" cast iron frying pan slammed against his head.

He finally left the Van Haylen County Hospital in Hillery 3 months later. However, one 38 cal. bullet is still lodged in the back of his neck, dangerously close to his spine. It occasionally gives him trouble on cold wet days.

Today, WFHH is a bright successful entity in the Fairhaven Harbor community. Still committed to its roots, WFHH brings the soothing sounds of Contemporary, Classical and Easy Listening to it's aging and mellow population of listeners. On Forth of July it broadcasts patriotic music for the annual fireworks on the lake. In December you can hear the rousing sounds of bright, cheery Christmas music and the deliberately cadenced barritone of the DJ wishing all a Merry Christmas, rather than a politically neutral Happy Holidays.

With WFHH on the air, all is right with the world.

Sister Cities

In December, 1969, Mayor Benjamin Dover and the FHH city council passed a proclamation naming the twin cities of Auch and Chua in Gers, Midi-Pyrenees, France as the sister cities of Fairhaven Harbor, Arkansas. Although FHH is not a twin city, unless you consider Laverne its faternal equivilant.

"Mayor Ben" proposed this after uncovering a box of French postcards in his deceased father's closet from a penpal, Maree Lynn Archineaux, whom he met in France during the Second World War. Without going into detail, she had a twin sister who apparently derived mirth from deceiving the then young 1st Division (Big Red One) Army Lieutenant. On more than one occassion, she convinced him that she was her sister Maree. Her name was Velee. She soon thereafter married an older local wine-maker in near-by town of Chua. For some unknown reason, she never visited her childhood home of Auch, despite it being only 6 km away, nor communicate with her twin in any way.

Moved by the story of twins seperated, Mayor Ben wrote to the city fathers of Auch and Chua, through the good offices of the Laverne High School French teacher, Alice Cooper. They sent Mayor Ben a bottle of reasonably palletable table wine and a set of locally made ceramic Rooster and Hen salt and pepper shakers. Not to be outdone or impolite, Mayor Ben shipped a Mason jar of blackberry jelly and another of locally confiscated (Rugburn S.O.) home brewed hardside along with a Polaroid of the Freer's Gerry "Snake on the Lake."

The next motion of the FHH City Council was to cut the budget by 11%, defer $23,000 in past due bills to the FHH Community Services, Inc. for payment and voted themselves and their spouses an all expenses paid trip to France for two weeks. In the Spring of 1970 they went to represent FHH as a goodwill gesture toward its new world partner.

Every summer since then, the FHH First Baptist VBS has written letters to the children of the Auch and Chua Home for Abandoned and Forgotten Children (it sounds better in French) but have yet to get any replys.

In a sidenote, not long after the 1970 FHH A&C Goodwill Trip, Mayor Ben and his wife, Honey, divorced. Honey quickly lost 30 pounds, spent her alimony on French lessons and soon after moved to Auch perminately. Mayor Ben was indited in the Summer of 1971 by a Rugburn County Grand Jury. He won election to his third term as mayor from a cell he shared with "Big Tommy" the infamous "Fishpole Murderer" at the Arkansas State Penitentury. Oops.

Where are we?

I thought I'd start out with the geography and discription. Fairhaven Harbor offers stunning mountain scenery, a variety of outdoor activities, cultural pursuits and friendly people who share your interests and experiences. FHH showcases a dramatically beautiful natural setting in the Ozark Mountains on sparkling clean Freers Gerry Lake. Our self-contained community will fulfill you wants and needs. The climate is mild with four beautiful seasons, and the atmosphere is easy-going. FHH is 75 miles north of Little Rock, Arkansas’ capital city; approximately two hours south of Branson, Missouri, the nation’s musical entertainment capital; and about three hours from Memphis, Tennessee. (Guess where I got this)

Local towns include Laverne, Freers Gerry, Hillery (where the Walmart is.) Hillview, Wolf, Deputy, Proper, Costco, Rugburn, Sidemont (where Deansen's Resturant is located, our favorite "take the pontoon boat to dinner" place), Cee Branch (speedtrap) and Hebrew Springs (French Canadian Jewish, Arkadian, settlement)

There are several peaks in the area called Sugarbread Mountain. One is the middle of the Northwest end of Freers Gerry Lake. It is a popular Corp of Engineers managed hiking trail with a spectaculer view of the lake. C-130s from the North Little Rock AFB regularly fly low-level training missions, at near lake level, under Sugarbread.

Freers Gerry Lake lays across two counties, Rugburn and Van Haylen.

Rugburn County was named after Jason J. Rugburn who was supposed to be one of the signers of the Declaration of Indepedence, but was a day late for the final congress and the document had alrady been declared and published. In a fit of alcoholic dispair, he left is home in Virginia and moved into the area. His farm, which was lost to non-payment of taxes, is now the town of Rugburn. Ironically is in Van Haylen County, not Rugburn county.

Van Haylen County was named after Edward J. Van Haylen who was popular musican and folk singer. Interestingly, his illegitiment great-great grandson was Jimmy Driftwood.

Freers Gerry Lake was a Corp of Engineer's flood control and recreational use lake. It was created by damning the Middle Fork of the Little Blue River. This closed down the Arkansas and Southern Missouri Railroad (ARSOMO), which ran through the valley. The railroad stubornly never came to terms with the government on relocating the line. Operations finally ceased on November 27, 1963 when on the first southbound run of their newly purchased set of twin F7 diesel locomotives, in the company's bright red, with yellow and orange trim, paint scheme, along with 13 cars of frieght, ran right into the rising waters of the quickly filling Freers Gerry Lake. They are still on the tracks at the bottom of the lake to this date, a favorite spot for local fishermen. In fact, the world record freshwater Casperfish was caught at that location in 1993.

Another interesting fact is that President John F. Kennedy was to have dedicated the lake on November 23, 1963 on his way back to Washington from Dallas, Texas. Oops.